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Black Widow | Part 5 – Numb| By Taryn

Okay…ENOUGH!!…of the bullshit fairy tale…ENOUGH of the “James Bond chick”…that ended.

Anger, wrath & bitterness grew within me toward ‘Black Widow’ Slot/Slut machine. I somehow needed vengeance. SHE had not only STOLEN my money, she had also broken my F****NG toe.

Any bit of logic I had at that time…was NOT!!

Midnight became the hour I drove into the dark of night and descended into the ‘World of the ‘Machines’.

The excitement I vaguely remembered feeling when I first searched for those ‘green-blue eyes’ had been replaced by furious anger.

I BLAMED that ‘Bitch’ for bringing me there.

There was SO MUCH more to explore in this sadomasochistic “lair” of pleasure & pain. Why had I wasted so much on only her?!?

And so I left her behind & went in search of a NEW mysterious EXCITEMENT that awaited me somewhere hidden amongst the crowd.

In CONTROL of everything & everyone around me is how I felt when on a silver platter my first envelope containing large amounts of cash was personally delivered to me.  I felt like ‘Joan of Arc’ galloping victoriously upon my horse after conquering an army .

My money had however surrounded me by the ‘Vultures’ & ‘Vampires’ living in ‘THAT’ world … lecherously sucking & feeding off whatever they can get.

In ‘THAT’ world there is no night or day, no yesterday or tomorrow, there is no existence of time.

Although I had left ‘Black Widow’ behind, her poison continued to pump through my veins … The more envelopes I received …the more 0000’s on the amounts was never enough.

I could not think of anything other than being in the ‘That World’… What else was there? My reality had become distorted. It was now just a perception. I was becoming a reflection of the toxic venom within me.

Who was I? What had I become? I was suffocating …I needed to breathe … I was slowly dying. I was NUMB!!!

For more information about treatment and recovery programmes for addictive behaviour disorders such as gambling, food and sex, please contact us on 0861-ADDICT | (011)7228-9200 or email info@thefoundationclinic.co.za and we will gladly assist you in choosing the correct programme.